


Fix What's Broken

by j_whirl44



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, I just wanted some closure, and so....i did this?, um....oops???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23958106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_whirl44/pseuds/j_whirl44
Summary: Zolf and Sasha meet again.
Relationships: Zolf Smith & Sasha Rackett
Comments: 11
Kudos: 43





	Fix What's Broken

The room is small and Zolf’s legs hurt. It’s his turn to sleep inside the cell. It’s been three days now and all the booze from Carter’s stash is gone. He’s never really been hungover before, but he wonders halfheartedly if he’ll feel any effects in the morning. At least that’d work as a distraction from the reality at hand.

It’s hard for him to look directly at Hamid. The guilt rises up in his throat whenever he tries, and his attempts at squashing it down are only replaced by rage. Rage at Hamid. Rage at himself.

He doesn’t necessarily regret leaving the group behind in Prague. He knows it was the only way to keep some sort of peace within the group. His growing distrust in Poseidon was too much to bear, plus Bertie’s constant agitation and the fallout of Mr. Ceiling. He wasn’t in any shape to lead them. The four of them were all so different from one another it was laughable. At the time he didn’t think they needed an old sad man like him around, too consumed with confusion and self-pity to do anything. He convinced himself they’d be fine.

He convinced himself Sasha would be fine without his healing.

He didn’t have any sort of idea where to go from Prague. He just went up to the ticket counter and got on the first train out. He ended up in Italy, in a small seaside town fittingly enough. He tried his best to reconnect with Poseidon but it was hard and nothing was working. He checked the papers for news of The Rangers every day. The report of the opera concerned him and Zolf almost booked a train back.

_ Almost. _

Now eighteen months have passed and he regrets being too frozen with fear and doubt to go back to them. When he got word of Einstein bringing them back from Rome he almost didn’t want to believe it, and when he only saw Hamid his heart squeezed.

Sasha was gone. He had a hard time thinking it wasn’t his fault. Hamid is adamant she’s only missing, but Zolf’s seen enough pain and loss in the fallout of this new war to know better. He shifts on the cell floor as he tries to sleep.

Suddenly, he’s back on a boat. It’s the same boat he was on whenever he and Poseidon tried to have it out, but this feels different.

For one, the water’s calm. It appears to be midday but the sun is covered just enough by the clouds for it to stay cool on the open sea. Zolf’s at the helm, steering the ship along. He feels someone behind him.

“Uh-hey there,” a voice says.

Zolf whips around. Then he sees her. Sasha.

He blinks, then looks out to sea, then looks back at her. She’s a lot worse for wear than he remembers.

“Sa-sasha? What are you-I don’t,” Zolf tries to say. He didn’t know what to think. She looked so  _ real  _ in front of him, he knew this was a dream but at the same time he really hoped it wasn’t.

He takes a step closer to her and reaches out his hand to grasp her arm. It didn’t feel real. He lowers his hand.

Sasha gives him a sad smile as she moves to sit down on the deck beside him.

“How you been, Zolf?” she asks.

He doesn’t know what to reply so he just continues to stare at her, dumbfounded, “Sasha where-where are you? Hamid he-he came back but you weren’t with him he-he said-”

“Hey alright, hey it’s okay calm down,” Sasha says. Zolf took a deep breath. “We went to Rome, traveled through planes of existence and stuff uh, Grizzop and I-Grizzop he’s uh, a goblin we met in Prague you’d like him, we uh got-got separated traveling back. I, uh, we...” she tries to continue but stops.

Zolf doesn’t feel like he’s breathing. He watches her explain bits and pieces he’s already heard from Hamid. He’s not steering the ship anymore because he thinks it doesn’t well matter right now. Partly because this is a dream; mostly because Sasha is in front of him and he has  _ so many things _ to say to her.

“Where are you?” he asks, “Hamid and I, we can come get you we can-” he stops when he sees Sasha smile and shake her head. She reaches out to him again, and again it doesn’t feel real.

“I’m gone, Zolf. There’s nothing you or Hamid can do it’s-it’s just the way it is,” she says.

Zolf shakes his head. He wants to cry but isn’t sure he can, “No. No Sasha look I’m sorry. For everything. I-I know I left when things weren’t good. For-for you, for everyone, I’m just sorry I did that. I just couldn’t be-”

“I know, mate. Look, you couldn’t be with Bertie and you had stuff to work out with your god or whatever.”

“I know but I shouldn’t have left  _ you _ , Sasha I’m sorry. You needed me and I-” Zolf stops. He can’t finish the sentence. A lump feels like it forms in his throat and he can’t swallow it down.

“Hey I got better. Met a dragon which was, uh, pretty...pretty cool, he helped heal me,” she says. Zolf laughs a little at that. He wishes he could’ve been there. He also thinks if anyone was worthy enough to render the help of a dragon to save her life, it’d be Sasha. He finally sits down next to her. He wants to reach out but he doesn’t.  _ He hates that this isn’t real. _

“So-uh-you want to just sit here then and be quiet? Because that’s fine with me. I got time,” she says and Zolf actually does laugh at that.

They do sit in silence for a bit. The faint smell of sea water tickles Zolf’s nose as he tries to take in what’s happening. He begs anyone who’s listening to not wake him from this.

“I really am sorry,” he whispers.

“I know you are, but hey, don’t take it out on Hamid. He-he tries. You know that,” she says.

Zolf lets out a sigh, “Yeah...yeah I do. I just, uh, still got some things to work out I guess.”

Sasha reaches out and touches him again, giving his hand a slight squeeze. It feels just a bit more real in that moment.

He wakes up. He wipes the tears off his face. He sees Azu give him a look from the other end of the small cell. He realizes he’s the last one to wake.

He walks towards Hamid and gives him a hug, the halfling is surprised, but he accepts it.

Zolf thinks of Sasha and smiles a bit.

**Author's Note:**

> i binged all of Rusty Quill Gaming in like 2 weeks and while some of y'all have had time to cope with the AR Sidequest i've only had 48 hours so this is what happened.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!!!
> 
> Title from I'll Be Your Skin by Sara Kendall


End file.
